Episode 68: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

 

Let’s get ready to Throwdown!

What is up everybody, we are back, Sales Throwdown we are talking about gratitude. Because this week is election week. There’s a there’s a lot of stuff going on. And as salespeople, you’re getting the brunt of it on top of everything else that’s going on. So how do you how do you find the good stuff right? Before we were recording, I was talking about it being kind of like a not a bad week, but just a week for the sake of a week or a night. And I think in those moments, you got to go and kind of find your motivation and find the why. And sometimes that’s gratitude. And sometimes it’s other thing. So it’s kind of what we’re here to talk about today. So, with that being said, let’s talk to miss Nan, because she is the queen of gratitude and good vibes and everything else. Hundred percent. So, like, do you do you ever have a moment where you’re just kind of down like, Man, I’m just having a bad day? Like, Does that ever happen in the world of Nan?

Oh, heavens. Yes. And? Oh, it for sure. I and I think you know that that that reminds me of the question. Do you have any regrets of your life? Well, everyone has regrets. And if you don’t have a regret, at some point,

You’re not living hard enough. I’m sorry. I said you’re not living hard enough. Well, that I Clint smiled at that. So he knows what I’m talking about.

I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Okay, well, I’m not thinking in respect of, y’all are thinking I’m just thinking, you know, of course you have regrets. Everybody has regrets. And if you ever regret and you’re not feeling a lot of gratitude for that moment, but in actuality you probably should I think that attitude is everything, you know, if you have a bad attitude, and go ahead, Dr. Daniel?

But let me define what I mean by regret. Like, I should have gone left instead of right. I don’t I don’t wear anything heavy on my soul about what I’ve done, I do what’s necessary for Al to get through the moment, the day, the week, whatever it may be. And and so this whole, you know, living in the past? No, that’s not what I’m talking about. I regret that I should have punched that guy’s lights out, right, instead of walking away. I regret that I should have taken another action step instead of the action step I took. And maybe it would have shorten the learning curve, or it would have gotten me down the road a little bit quicker. No, you know, you learn from mistakes, those aren’t regrets, you know,

I think that’s coming from an I, I think very clearly, because when I okay, so maybe that’s where we should start, but we’ve kind of gone off gratitude, but maybe I kind of directed us that direct with my statement. But um, for me, I can say in all my regrets, that it isn’t when it affected me because I have a positive outlook. I’m like, well, that’s okay. For me. I’m like, you know, I could completely crumble and then go, Okay, well just go the next day. Right. But unfortunately, I have regrets that have affected others. You know, maybe my children, people that I care for, or, you know, you know how many I know this is really silly one, but like, just today, I’m driving down I see this, driving down the street, I stopped at a red light and I see this guy that I normally try to be kind to because he’s needs help. And I was like, caught up in my own little what I was trying to hurry and you know, and he saw me and he didn’t you know that so that’s a regret, you know? So you it’s just a plethora of regrets right? But back on to the gratitude. The reason I brought up the regret is because how you really look at your life, how you handle each little silly situation or big situation is predicated on your attitude, ultimately, it is not really what the situation is, you know, I’m in because every, you know, when I hear someone go, man, you know, I just had a really crummy day. And I’m like, well, you’re gonna have another one. And I had one one day, and you’re good, you know, because life is just comes in waves, there’s good days, bad days. And that’s just the way it is. So how are you going to look at it? You know, like, if you go in and make a sales call, and you completely mess up? Do you go up? Does it destroy you? It better not? Because you’re going to do it again. You instead, sit down and go, Okay, what did I do? What? Oh, my gosh, that was really stupid. And then learn from it, and then you prove the next time. So it’s really a good thing. So, like, today, you know, there’s this election and things didn’t go, or potentially are not going exactly how I had hoped. But then I’m like, walking tonight going, Oh, well, it’s okay. Because, ultimately, for me, God’s in control too. Also I mean, also, um, there is something that will be good for a change, you know, there’s gonna be bad probably, but there’s good. So you can look at everything. And it is your attitude. So don’t walk around, just like sad, but some people just do that. But I, I would really like to encourage people that are listening to this, that if that is your normal bent to be a little downtrodden or just thinking negative instead of, you know, be thankful. And I promise you, if you look at something and do something, and you go, you know, actually, you spin it, how you spin it is how it’s going to be if you think this is the sky is falling, the sky is gonna fall in your world. You know, you can you everyone creates their own atmosphere. So be really careful if you’re not grateful for I guarantee we can all look around. I mean, look, okay, look at me, like, I’m, in this moment. Someone said, Okay, well, I’m going to be here, I need you to go out to the patio. And I’m like, they’re thinking this is secondary to something else. And I’m like, all right, I get to have fire, twinkle lights, plants, beautiful. I mean, or I could go, crap. I’m out here with the bugs. And it’s hot. And, you know, it’s all how you think about it. That’s on trends. Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox. I have a tendency to preach a little bit. Are y’all about ready to? Y’all can cut all this out when you redo.

There’s no editing. We we don’t edit really out any parts of any episodes. And thankfully, we haven’t gotten in trouble for that yet. So we’re still young in the grand scheme of things though. Clint. Right. Is there? Is there anything on the polar opposite end of that?

Can we say? Okay, so what was the question asked Clint, and what was his immediate without hesitation response? Right, recording?

We were talking about the topic and algos. Hey, Clint, do you have any gratitude?

I say, I asked the question. I said, Hey, Clint, did D’s have it? You know, what is gratitude? Did they have any gratitude?

He just goes No.

I have seen him have gratitude.

Hold on, but that’s a hold on. Clint, you say thank you, right? Yep. It is not your favorite word to use. But I would think that, you know, if somebody did you a solid, you know, you would support that and want them to know that you appreciated what they did, right? Oh,

So here’s the deal. It’s

Sounds like a stump speech, hold on a second.

Hear me out. Because Because gratitude is up there along with respect. It’s, it’s earned. You don’t just give it away for free. And people have a tendency to overuse a lot of gratitude, which makes it in the time that you truly mean it and truly want it to be there. It kind of just, it takes the takes the nicety out of it. I guess it just takes it down. I see I see it a lot, you know, and Nan, I would say most S’s are that way they overuse a lot of thank yous and, oh, you’re the greatest person you’re, you know, this, these big words on site. I really didn’t do that much. You know, what, why do you think it’s like, it’s like hiring a guy to do a job and then thanking Him every day, every minute that he does. I’m Oh, you’re so great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That’s nice. But you also you’re paying them to do the job, which is the gratitude part. So I’m a little mixed feelings on it. You know, I know I tend not to be too lovey dovey and gratitude, show a lot of gratitude when I probably should. It’s a it’s definitely a leadership quality of mine that’s lacking.

Because I feel of the three guys on this panel the most gratitude from you, I go, I feel the most is not love, but I feel the most so maybe it is gratitude. I feel you are just the kindest and I you know, John Hill you know, I love you. But Clint has, and so I’m shocked that you’re saying that. I really am.

This is gonna go off the rails right here. Like Like, nugget. If you want to see it dissolve. That’s where it starts. Go ahead, Al. What do you got?

I got nothing cuz I’m not even in this equation it appears, Nan just left me out in the cold.

Everybody except for Dr. Al.

No, I didn’t say that.

To you know, to to what I’m saying though. And it’s a sticky, it’s a hard way to explain because it’s not going to come off well received to most personalities or many people listening to this. It’s like guys, you know, this guy has no compassion or love. We’ve talked about that a lot, right? The compassion side of things. But for me, it’s uh, I kind of live in those extreme zones I take I take a lot of hard hits and run with the hard hits and thrive in the the chaos I love that stuff. And I tend to stay away from the lovey dovey feeling sort of thing I just, that’s just me as a human being and probably my personality more than anything. But respect and love and gratitude and, you know, being gracious, all those kind of fall in that the moment don’t overuse it. Because it kind of weakens the the meaning of it to me, right? So when it gets overused a lot, it’s like, you know, saying the word, you know, telling telling somebody you love them every day, 24 times a day, eventually, it just becomes another word.

This is shocking to me!

Clint, I love you.

Doesn’t mean shit.

It actually shouldn’t. But okay,

I’m like, No, I’m still here. And I’m racking my brain. And I’m like, and I’m like, man, there’s got to be somebody on the planet that Clint just gives a little bit of like, love and respect and gratitude to just like by default, and then I’m like, I’m about people. Sure.

I do I have children. I have a wife, you know, like, those are those get my gratitude and affection all day, every day. Whenever? Yeah, sure. But I know just just to meet a stranger and just, you know, show all this compassion and love and gratitude for somebody that’s never, that’s never I’ve never seen what they’ve done. Or, you know, maybe they’re just showing me one event of a life and, and to be honest with you. And the reason I’m a little skeptical about it is because I’ve been burned by people that come especially in sales, I’ve been burned by a lot of sales people that come up, and they want to show you all this grace and this love and the stuff up front to get you on the hook. And then they just burn you, right? So, you know, for me, I get burned enough times and I stopped showing that up front, compassion and gratitude and saying, Oh, you did such a great job. Oh, thank you, dude, I hired you to do the job. He did it. Here’s your money. That’s gratitude. In my book, you know,

okay, so what that made me think of Have y’all ever, y’all probably haven’t done this. But like, sometimes I’ll go to a restaurant for dinner, and the waitress will come out and they’re stellar. The first five minutes. And at that point, I am like, Wow, man, thank you. That was really timely and love, you know, say something nice to them. And, you know, because I’m thinking, wow, they’re really on on key. And then after the it all falls apart. And I’m like, I should never have said that, point taken, I get what you’re saying. Okay.

I was gonna say, but I’ve seen Clint, go deep on a tip right? I mean, you reward people. And that’s a sense of gratitude. I’ve seen you pull your wallet out and

But but you’ve also proven your worth it you know, I’m not giving that to you just because you’re you I’m giving it to you earned it and

so easy to deal with it’s not like they had to jump through major hoops. It’s like Hey, bring me my food bring my dinner be kind.

Yeah. And at the same time, look at all the times that they didn’t you know, other other people in the in the, let’s just say we’re talking about servers here. Once again, I’ve been burned I’ve tipped somebody big and then they they haven’t done a done a good job. They haven’t done decent So, so Yeah, exactly. That’s why I say it’s just always earned to me and, and don’t think I haven’t had phone calls with mentors in my life where I’ve called them up out of the blue on a Tuesday and said, Hey, man, I’ve appreciated Everything you’ve ever done for me, but they did a lot for me to to get that phone call and it may not mean anything to them. But you know, it means means a lot to me. So like I said, it’s just a it’s an earned it’s earned thing in my book. It should be.

I want to hear John’s spin on this.

Okay, and then I got another thing I want to come back to but yeah, John, give us your twist.

The snarky clip I want to make towards Clint is like asking him if it was the purchase of that Kirby vacuum cleaner that spoil them on all other salespeople.

Man, that is, uh, you know, you know, I will, okay, so free. Okay. Just Just so we’re clear, great salesman. I mean, truly. You know, I learned a lot from that. Good and bad. But I will say he sold a vacuum. Right? I mean, so

good. Because we know cuz you bought that.

Exactly. Yep. All 400 pounds of it.

How many? How many payments? Did you just write stroke a check? Or did you go on the payment plan?

I think we did. like four years.

is so great. By the time

by the time I paid that thing off. It was a $17,000 vacuum.

Oh, wow. Oh, my goodness. That is greatness right there. Guys, if y’all didn’t if y’all don’t know that story, go find it in a previous episode. Because man it’s it’s it’s golden.

Oh, man. Okay, so

back to my point is, so as a salesperson, you know, each of us sitting in the corner that we sit in? How much gratitude do you show when the gatekeeper does you a solid? Right? What does that look like? I mean, and I get where Clint’s coming from and where Nan’s coming from. And you know, a little bit from John there, you know, you can, in my opinion, you can go too far with the thank yous, absolutely. It comes off disingenuous when, particularly when the girl says, All I did was tell you who to go see, right, I mean, you know, get out of my way, now I gotta get back to work, you know.

So to that point, you know, the reward the actual, let’s say, the monetary portion of gratitude, in essence, like, let’s say, somebody hooks you up down the road, you know, passes your card along, or normally they wouldn’t, and you send them a huge, you know, gift card, or a bouquet of flowers or whatever. Now that one little action in her mind or his mind, that was probably pretty small, they didn’t have to work too hard at it. Now now should receive this huge reward, you set the bar, you set the market. And now every little thing, what happens now if she sits in on a meeting, he or she, the gatekeeper sits in on the meeting for you and represent you now? What do you do buy your car buyer a trip to? You know, Tahiti? I mean, where does it go?

Well and how hard do you make it for the next guy who doesn’t follow your lead right now he’s like, Oh, you get out of here. You didn’t like give me the you know, yeah, the, you know, the grease that I was looking for. So sometimes that can be, you know, kind of a pothole situation, where the next guy just, you know, it’s like, what does it take to get through the door here? Well, again, you know, if you’ve, if you’ve been overly gracious, sometimes it makes it difficult, which maybe that’s not a bad thing, man offset your opponent.

And then what it does, and and I’ll tell you that our you know, construction market is filled with those people, I’m sure the medical market is too, the we talk about all the time that buy their way in through it, and, and to them that’s showing gratitude for giving me a job, but it’s truly illegal. You know, like, I agree, this is not gracious anymore. This is a presence,

right? It’s bribery,

bribery. So and so I think you can take it too far. And I think that’s why I say is, you know, I’ll say it this whole episode, it is it is just constantly earned, what you I think the reward, the gratitude that you show, there is different levels of, you know, of where you should be, and that, you know, and what the, what the deed was, and the thanks that it gets, there’s a there’s a lot of levels and a lot of tears of how you show it. Sure. Because gratitude at the end of the day, guys, it’s just it’s a quality. So if we, if we can break it down, it’s a quality of a human being is gratitude. Right? showing gratitude is a quality. So I think I think that some of us have more of that quality than others naturally. And then some of us look at it differently, which is what I’m talking about, I have it Don’t get me wrong, I have tons of it. It’s you I use it differently.

So that brings up a point I’d like to point out so if you are overly gracious with maybe a gatekeeper, then you end up doing business with the decision maker and you have a direct you know route back to the decision maker. This circumvent sometimes maybe the gatekeeper or you come in and you say, Hey, he’s expecting me. And you try to have a regular business relationship with somebody that you wooed too hard. It’s almost like a breakup, you know, because they’re expecting that same level of gratitude every time he came in, that you gave the first time to get through the door, wouldn’t you think that gatekeeper would be a little jaded about that after a couple of times, like, I’m the girlfriend until I get dumped? Because they get to the decision maker, right? So I caution people to be careful and be consistent. And, you know, when you’re in practice, you have the same thing, right? Think with the end in mind? How are you gonna treat your patients when you have 100 of them versus two that you spend all day with? Right? Yeah. And

That’s a good, that’s a good point. Because like, at what point, Al, let’s say that you’re not that sales rep to the gatekeeper anymore, you moved up, you sold so much, now you bought the company, and you got to send one of your sales reps into that same gatekeeper, and they say, Oh, no, you’re not getting past me anymore. Your boss screwed me 10 years ago, right? We’re going back full circle. And, you know, another thing that I’d like to talk about is, for me, gratitude comes in a lot of different forms. I think, I think a lot of this, for me, this is probably the biggest way that you can show me, show me gratitude and accept it is when we do a project together, right. And let’s say you’re the leader of that team, and you walk out, you give a presentation in front of everybody and you say I I I. Like that, that is something that I just cannot stand and you show me so much disrespect, when we’ve all worked on it for, you know, let’s say three months, and you take that you run with a new say I, I, I. That that is not showing gratitude, that is disrespect, but somebody who stands in front of that same group and says, you know, my team, like me, and me and my team put this together. That’s gratitude in my book. And that’s a huge form of flattery. And it motivates people. And so, like I said, I have a ton of it, it’s just I use it a little bit different. I’m not the, you know, I appreciate everything you do for me every day, I don’t show that affection. But I do show it in the form that I I try to never say “I” when a team is involved, you know, things like that. So it comes in all shapes and sizes, guys.

And not to eat up some more time here. But Clint hit on a real important project, if you give credit to people who helped you get someplace saying, hey, without your help with this wouldn’t have been possible. I think that really elevates people because they feel like they’re part of a successful endeavor. In general, whether it be just from the company they work for, as a gatekeeper, or, you know, an assistant to somebody that you know, is working on the project, or one of your assistants or somebody that’s on your team. People like to be appreciated, right? And, and recognize, they like to be recognized for what they did, right? Because we all kind of eat it on the stuff that we don’t do so well on. So when somebody you know that, you know, it solidifies their position within a company that you currently are working with. And so it’s always good to recognize people that have helped you get where you need to get or been a part, like you said, of a particular project, as you stand up, and you don’t get lost in your own grandeur, right? Have the gratitude to thank everybody and recognize everybody that made whatever you’re doing possible. Just keep that in mind.

And I see that a lot in in sports figures and actors and actresses. Right? I see. I see that a ton. Where they you know, let’s say the guy hits 40 home runs and you know, the the interview says how do you how do you hit so well? Well, I do this and I do that. But you know, the ones that I always appreciate are the ones who I you know, I was here last year and coach so and so taught me this and brought me to this level. I worked hard at it. Don’t get me wrong, but he taught me this level. That’s that’s gratitude. Right? That’s, that that’s where I see it a lot, as is forgotten a lot in the sports and the actor stand up getting their awards. And, you know, I worked so hard to get here. It’s like, Yeah, well, so did everybody else that helped you get here and don’t forget about those people, you know, so

Yeah, the the I versus like we stuff is super important, right. And salespeople are often guilty of using too many I statements. I’m just here because I would like to take a look at your stuff. I’m going to need this and this and this. And like when I when I go back and I I kind of like try to remember how people pitch to me, right? And like how I feel about it. And whenever I break that down, it always feels like the the worst ones are the ones where I don’t even need to be there. Right? Hey, I’m just here in your neighborhood. And I just want to take a look and when can I get up on your roof and it’s like, I I don’t even need to really be here for this conversation to go exactly the way that it did. And that’s the stuff that really, I mean, it just goes all over me right. And so I liked it. That that shows up as gratitude for you because I don’t, I don’t think about it in that same way. But like, that makes a ton of sense. And I can see it in that same lens, which is interesting.

I want to bring up something else here, one of the things that I think salespeople are really prone at, because sales is a tough job, I mean, you know, we have to go out there and be our own people. And we have to, you know, overcome our own issues, that knocking on doors and selling and cold calling, and all of that, that we forget to support our family or significant others that are close to us, right, that see us frustrated and have to come up with the right words, sort of kind of, you know, the, or they feel like there’s sometimes, you know, you can come home a little angry, being a salesman, some days, you know, or a little discouraged or not wanting to talk or all these things that you just bring back to the house now, I’m sure everybody has their decompression and the way they try to leave certain things out. But that sick will creep in and just be part of the Congress dinner conversation. And I think I challenge everybody to reach out to their significant others or their, their, their family in a general sense, and thank them for being supportive and, and they reap the rewards of your, you know, your success. But they’ve also had to go through the trials and tribulations when it hasn’t actually turned out so well for you.

Yeah. And, and that goes to just like the people that you work with, as well, right? Because, I mean, obviously, you can carry a lot of this stuff home, right? If your mindset is, you know, not set up the right way. You know, and you and you kind of were some of this, you know, you were the noes you were the rejection sometimes. But the the other side of it, right is like a lot of these salespeople who are not prioritizing their team, they’re just prioritizing, like, like what the prospect wants, right? So they get a call, they’re like, hey, I need a bid. And they go rattle up, right, everybody who’s part of that process without asking any questions around qualifying or anything else, you know, you hear about this all the time, because there’s this stigma inside most companies that the salespeople will do anything to get the deal done in the back of the house has got to figure out how to deliver on it. And, you know, it’s, you know, who were you looking to take care of? Right, because, you know, good good teams are hard to build.

Yeah, it’s, it’s interesting, because I was thinking to this free consulting, you know, with, it’s like the No, no words and sales, right? We, we never want to give it away for free. But for me, a lot of my business has been generated off of helping people through a tough time, you know, you know, giving them some good ideas to get through this. And then, you know, keep me on the back burner for when you do the big project, you know, I made a lot of business that way. And, you know, it’s funny, because I think most buyers, in my market, at least are, are heavily, heavily C’s, and heavily D personalities. And there’s not a lot of human emotion in those two personalities that you know, that come out. So it’s always business transactions, right. And so when you do free consulting for those two personalities, you’re not getting gratitude back. You may, you may not. But you know, that’s why that stigma is so bad on free consulting and getting stuff away for free. Because you’re you’re dealing with most people that don’t have a lot of human emotion involved in the business transaction. And so you know, you got to be careful who you’re giving stuff to, if you’re expecting gratitude to come back your way full circle, because, you know, I did, I did a solid for a guy today at a hotel, just trying to, you know, get stuff back and going, knowing full well he’s gonna have an expansion next year, your renovation. And you know, it cost me a couple hours of my time, and it’s probably something I could charge them for. But, you know, honestly, the paper wasn’t worth it. But it meant the world to him. And I expect that gratitude back, you know, next year, next March next April, when they’re doing their project, even if it’s just an invite, right, you know, maybe it’s just just an invite to the table. But if it doesn’t, you know, that’s, that’s tough for me, because I will tell you, and I’ll make sure you know that I feel the way I feel so and so I don’t know where I was going with that other than it’s just, you know, you got to be careful who you’re dealing with, with expecting gratitude, because not everybody has it.

Well, I think you hit on a good point that, you know, and I, I’ll put it in the reverse, you need to remember the people that helped you get where you need to get. So if you owe somebody somebody opened a door if somebody you know, shut you straight, you need to go back if the opportunity presents itself and do the same thing, because that that’s the greatest sin of all is right. I helped you but now you won’t help me. Oh, man, you want to talk about carry a grudge and make me bitter. That’s the quickest way to it by forgetting what I did for you. Right? And as long as you’re reminiscent of that if you’re appreciative of that, if we still have that going? And you know, you got me, you know for the next time you need me and, and I don’t it’s not one for one man, it’s five times I helped you. But when I call that phone better get picked up right or now I got a big issue.

How far does that go?

Till death. Okay, well, I just got a call from a guy yeah, that I hadn’t talked to in a while left him a message and other doctor I got I got some needs, I got a phone call, I’ll give him a phone call back and we’ll make it happen. But if it had gone silent, oh, that wouldn’t have set very well for me.

Well, I’ll tell you this, I don’t ever, ever do anything. And respect gratitude at the end, because I’ve been burned too many times, right. And I just expect so that way. And that’s when it goes back. It’s always earned, right? And the reason I say that is because if I, there’s kind of a negative way to look at things, but if I always expect, I’m not going to get gratitude, I might get paid, right. And that might be gratitude enough for me. But I don’t expect every time I do something for somebody give me a big hug and pat me on the back and tell me I’m the greatest thing ever. And I think some people do, right? And I mean, I’ve worked with a lot of people that do they do something for you, they bring you papers off the printer. So you didn’t have to get up at your desk, and they just stand there and look at you. I’m like, hey, thanks, man. You know, but I’m not going to give you a big hug for it, it’s not that big a deal. It might be for them. So it’s just it’s one of them things like I go into a lot of situations where I don’t expect it. And then when I get it, it means more. You know, but if I expect that every time and it doesn’t, I don’t want to feel burned every time I don’t get it. So, you know, we’re talking about we talked about giving it i’m also, you know, switching the script a little bit on receiving too. So don’t set yourself up for failure, thinking you’re going to get it every time you do a task. Because that’s that’s craziness.

Well, and I think that that’s really important because, you know, because we’re we’re kind of talking about, you know, knowing people opening doors helping people out, you know, and sometimes that might be like a referral or an or an introduction and stuff. And how do you how do you avoid the entitlement of like, hell yeah, did something for you, you better hook me up later on.

That stuff I think I think that lives in, to be honest with you, I think that lives in mine and Doc, Doc’s world big time I and D’s. I think that we do a lot of stuff for people thinking, you know, hey, I get I got this one for you. Especially I think I’s, I see it a lot in I’s. Doc, you can correct me if I’m wrong, but you kind of build your your arsenal of people around you to build favorites, all stuff you’ve done. I mean, I see it in the business world, no matter what personality but just kind of was seen in the I’s for sure.

I don’t expect it. I want to know that I earned. Again, it goes back to Clint and Nan, and I know john could you can appreciate this. Just from the kung fu side of things, right? Where you go out of your way to help somebody out. And you’ll do it again and again, again, but at a certain point, if the if the other party is just is taking it for granted. And we all know when we’re being taken for granted. I get the Hey, they didn’t say thank you this time. Now that’s a solid guy. He was busy just went the other way. I mean, I’m, I don’t get butthurt off the little things. It’s when people start to expect the fact that I’m always going to be there to do my part. Whether it may, you know, it’s out of my way every time and I’m like, Wait a second, somebody’s getting the wrong impression here. All right. And that’s sort of like whoa, whoa, this this is one sided, or this doesn’t benefit me enough. And then that’s when things can go off the rails. You know, I don’t need thank you so much as I need to know that you appreciated what I did, just in whatever way you decide to deliver that to me. And if it’s a quick Hey, appreciate that. Cool, you know, and you get to work in around certain people and they never can say a damn, thank you. Well, guess what? All right. wash my hands. I’m like the dealer. I’m out of here. Yeah, yeah, I’m, I’m old. I can’t hear very well. Right. What do you need? Huh? Why then it’s like why do you need it now? Oh, yeah. I’ll get to it. I’ll get to it. Yeah, I got you back. Oh, God. Dude walks off a cliff, right. He’s like a aaahhhh.

Oh, I like totally can’t relate with that at all to be absolutely honest. And you know, I had to take a nap but it just it I’m like listening to y’all gone. Whoa, that is wild. But um, maybe y’all can, like I said, Call me to the carpet. Maybe I’m

fired. I’ll speak to I’ll speak to you a little bit because, Nan, that’s what that’s what, that’s where you get your fuel to get up and do what you do every day. And, and act the way that you act and fuel your personality. That is, that’s how you feel your your emotions is gratitude and grace and love and compassion. And those words are your that’s what fills your gas tank. everyday.

People do things. So truly, like I said, uh, I kind of like, but it’s okay, cuz it’ll be a lesson learned. But I’m like, man, I literally do things, not for what I’m gonna get in return. Because I, I, my return is I, how I feel, you know, I hate to sound selfish, but I feel fantastic whenever I feel like, I feel like when you’re kind to someone that makes their life better, and then they’re going to be kinder, and then it’s just like this payback, you know, for, and not necessarily to me, I don’t care. I mean, I literally do not care. But, you know, listening to the that’s kind of even confusing to me, to be honest. And I hope that doesn’t sound like I said, weird. But I don’t like if you expect something. That’s kind of your choice, you chose to do it. And now you’re demanding them to react the way you want. That’s, I don’t even understand how you can be like that. But that’s why we have a D, I, S, and C, right. So there we go. And that’s why I think it’s so important. Now the fingers because I’m like, that’s why it’s very important in life to have different personalities being together. Because if everyone was like me, it would be nauseating. If everyone was like Al it would be nauseating. You know, I mean, you just really need different

She’s not even gonna continue that.

No, I good punch line there.

So there we go. That you know, that’s that’s what it is. We just need different personalities, because we do help each other. But, man, if I lived off of that, I do only what I’m going to get in return. That I can’t even imagine that would be scary to me. To me. That would be scary. Because then you’re waiting with everyone. Was there everyone else? I don’t care what anyone…

Nan Nan. So you think now the Clint and I and John really didn’t weigh in on this, that we only do things so that somebody pays us back. That’s not what I was getting?

No, I definitely don’t think that I know. I know y’all. Well, too well, but I guess I’m just trying to understand why there’s so much. It’s so important to get a good reaction from someone.

I don’t I didn’t, I don’t mean to hit if I said that. I it’s not what I meant. I don’t think I said it. But what I’m saying is that your expectations of doing something and expecting some in return. So I’m saying exactly what you’re saying. Truly, like you can’t expect something in return because you did something. And okay, every time you do some small You can’t expect gratitude from every person on the planet you have to you have to earn you know, when somebody gives something to you, it’s earned and same way in you know, reciprocating, it’s, I’m not going to give you a ton of that. So this is what made you different a little bit Nan where I you give it freely. I give it off something that is earned, more you’ll do it. You’ll do it to make somebody stay. I don’t go out of my way to do something nice for somebody just to make their day. I’ll do it to make me feel better is different. Very good.

Okay, that makes sense. Okay, so John, you have been really quiet and so I would love to know a C perspective.

Um, well, I, I have a story. But I have a question first for Clint, because you you said a minute ago that you help the guy the other day for nothing, but you know that he’s got an expansion coming up and you’re, you’re expecting something.

I’m not expecting it. I’m just I weighed my risk versus reward.

Well, I think what Clint was saying that nothing was he didn’t he didn’t ask for payment for what he did. He just gave him, and my grandmother used to call it a lagniappe; she was a Cajun woman and so langiappe is something given for free expecting nothing in return. I mean, look it up, it’s a Cajun word and langiappe day, right? Which is where you give all the kids a little something. It’s almost like not a holiday obviously. But they they would do it you know, you know college campuses, free beer and crawfish to be your go to school in Louisiana. I did fail out of that institution, by the way, but anyway, that’s a different story.

But that’s a good way to put it because I truly did that not expecting and like I said early. I try to go into most situations where I’m giving something away, or giving something to somebody because they need help. I’m not expecting this, you know, gift card in the mail two months later, tell me how it made their day I just do it and move on. You know, it’s over. I did it made me feel good. It made them feel good. I’m gone with it. That’s plenty for me. Right? But now if I give a guy a full tank of gas, for free, and he drives across country, and then I see him on the news, and he won won the lotto on the way, and he doesn’t pay me back for a tank of gas, we’re gonna be, we’re having some words, right.

So, a long time ago, I was working in a co working space. And I met this guy there, he was confused. I helped him out, you know? And then we got connected. He was there on a day pass. So then we get connected on…

Was this about his sexuality or something? But go ahead?

No, no, he was just coming into the CO working space, I knew how the code space was, was working. And that was supposed to be a joke. But it fell flat. It was super funny. So we get connected on LinkedIn. And then a couple a couple of weeks later, I see that he’s connected to someone who I think could be a prospect. So I reached out and I said, hey, how well do you know this person? And he was like, oh, pretty well. I said, Well, hey, would you mind just like giving me an introduction? You know, and just saying, hey, like, you know, you should talk to John. And he goes, Oh, no man, I don’t do that. And I got so mad, right? Because I was like, Well, what, what the hell are we doing here? Right? This was a long time ago, I was a little a little more stubborn. And I was like, Well, if we’re not going to network, we’re not going to make introductions. I don’t even need to have this connection. So I just went and severed the connection, like, right then and right there. Because my, my network on LinkedIn at that time was like, very, very close. And it was very referral driven and stuff like this. And so it just didn’t make any sense to me to have somebody in there if they’re not willing to do that. The, and that’s kind of like how, like I was thinking about everything, right? If you’re not going to refer me, I’m not going to refer you if I make an introduction, you know, like I need, I need to know, at least appreciate it because I put effort into it in some way, shape, or form. And yeah,

It’s a it’s a bad trap, did you start tallying wins and losses? Right? When one outweighs the other you stop doing things? Yeah, that’s not good either. So.

But did you ask like some defining questions like, That’s strange, John, why is it that you take that position given, you know, just our background and what’s transpired between the two of us? He goes, What do you mean, go? Look, you were you Oh, so? Yeah, I mean, go ahead. I have another story popped in my head. But yeah, explain to me how you

Well, it, like I didn’t blow up at him or anything. I was like, This just doesn’t make sense. This isn’t what I use this for, let’s end this thing, right. But in the way that I think about it now is it’s like this, for lack of a better treatments, karmic loop of networking, right? I give referrals, I give introductions, like as freely as I possibly can, without expecting anything in return. Because if I expect anything, the whole thing becomes like, like a, like a system that I’m trying to rig to have the best outcomes I can. Okay. So, yeah,

I would think that, you know, if somebody is not grateful, or gracious when you do business with them, maybe that’s their demeanor, maybe it’s just, they’re more reserved, possibly shy, you know, maybe they just don’t, you know, reach out to people very often. But if you ask for a specific favor after having given one, I think you have the right to, to kind of reinforce or not reinforce, but you have a right to question, why they’re not capable, or why they won’t, you know, help you when you’ve helped them. I mean, obviously, they’re shutting the door, what’s wrong would put your foot there before they close it and going, Hey, before we end this, can I ask you, why are you being such a dick? Right? Or, you know, how is it that I’d say, have I offended you? I mean, do you not I mean, the short term memory gone, what’s going on?

Well I think that the key to doing that is having a level of confidence that like most people never actually get to, because they they don’t, they don’t stand in that kind of, like, I mean, as salespeople we get a lot of noes we get a lot of people like what the hell are you doing here? You know, and, and stuff like this, you know, that we run into, and it’s just through having like, like, like a pure mindset of like, Oh, you don’t have any problems with this. That’s totally okay. But that doesn’t mean that I’m, like a nuisance. There’s other people who do see value in talking to me, so no skin off my back that you don’t. Like that takes a level of confidence that like takes time and reps and it’s hard, right? So most people just don’t ever get there, I don’t think.

Agreed, but I understand I walked through a door and somebody just rude to me and they kicked me out of the office man. And I’ve had, you know, a couple of Those encounters here researched her more than me, in the sense where people were just not interested. They didn’t. But there was no, there was nothing that we’d never done anything for him or Nana never done anything, it was just a Hey, introduction, cold call walk through the door, I get that when they boot your ass out, or they don’t have time for you at that point. But at a certain point, if you’ve done somebody a solid, and help them out, and now they’re trying to behave that way, I think it’s within your right to go What’s you know, sorry, I’m a little confused here. Why this attitude? when, you know, I was actually you were asking for my help, you know, three days ago or last week or the week before? I don’t see any problem with challenging that person. Unless, well, I you know, particularly if they’re not the get, you know, they’re just the gatekeeper or there’s somebody that’s part of the process, not the real decision maker. Yeah, just saying,

Yeah. Well, guys, we are at time. So let’s, I think we covered this pretty pretty in depth, I don’t know that it makes sense to go through and do and do a Throwdown.

I have nothing further to say.

I do. I want to thank all of our viewers, and people who listen to this podcast on a regular basis, my heart goes out with immense gratitude for all the effort that you put in to come to the station or however you get this medium and watch and spend some time. I mean, time is value and I appreciate you spending part of your time with us. Thank you. And I mean that sincerely. It came off corny in the beginning, but I really mean it right now.

Thank you, Clint. If you had to quantify how many like weeks or months that shaved off of your life, where do you think that was?

I’ll probably live to be about 42 now.

Well, before we depart though, Clint’s obviously in the company bathroom, he’s got an automatic timer on the light keeps going off.

Behind you behind me is all my is my computer screens and blocks the light timer. And so during the day I do it like 700 times a day. You’d think, you’d think you know somebody in construction get that thing fixed.

Don’t you have some kind of maintenance crew around there that you could like usher in to get that switch changed now?

Probably probably could but I don’t want to pay him.

I think that switch kind of like picks up your soul. And since Clint doesn’t have one. I mean, I mean, even even if he moved it to the other wall, it probably still not register.

Probably, probably see right through me.

Awesome, guys. And to echo Al’s statement, you know, we are grateful that you guys take time out to listen to us. There’s a lot of people who want your attention in you know, there’s a lot of people talking about this in a way that isn’t at all like the way that we talk about it. So if you’re seeing value here, we appreciate that. If you know somebody else in sales, please share this with them. If you have a question and you want to be referenced on the show we’re talking about on the show, send us a text 817-345-7449. If you’re watching on YouTube, please like and subscribe. And we’re all over social media. Everything is at Sales Throwdown. So follow us. If you have questions, concerns. If you want to take the assessment, let us know and we’ll get you hooked up. Thanks a lot, everybody. We’ll see you next week.