Discussing that which shall not be discussed


So, having my first real, not purely personal blog post be about the subject that I am least excited about feels kind of weird.

But since we all need to be able to talk about it, and I am slowly but surely learning how to talk about it better, here we go.

In episode 12, the Sales Throwdown team discussed money. Specifically, how to talk about money with clients.

If you missed it, listen here.)

I’m guessing that I’m no different than the majority of people in America. I was raised to NEVER talk about money. I’m thirty-bleep years old, my dad has been gone for over 12 years now, and I can still, with perfect clarity, hear him tell me to never, ever talk about money.

Talk about whatever else is on your mind. (Especially since he loved picking fights, or, as he called it, “debating.”) But never talk about money. It’s rude.”

Thanks, dad.

My parents almost lost their house and their marriage because they didn’t talk about money.

John and I don’t fight much, but when we do, it’s usually because I didn’t want to talk about money.

I consider myself extremely frugal, but John likes to say that I have really short arms. Or, when he’s feeling not as cute, that I’m just plain cheap.

He’s not wrong.
The truth is, I feel really uncomfortable discussing money, even if there are no current issues or barriers around it. I just have so much trouble talking about it.

But here’s the thing.

No relationship is benefited by not talking about it. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship it is; personal, business, etc. If money is or may someday be involved, you have to talk about it.

The gang talks about asking what a client’s budget is and how it’s not always about numbers. While everybody wants to know what things are going to cost them, they’re not as eager to share how much they have or are willing to spend. And I get it.

I grew up fairly poor. My parents grew up dirt poor. My dad would haggle over absolutely anything. Yes, there were more than a few embarrassing moments in public with him. But if a salesperson had ever asked him how much he had to spend on something, my dad would have just turned and walked away.

So you definitely have to know how to approach the question.

And it makes a difference.

John uses some of the approaches he talks about during the episode on me. Because I’m used to it, sometimes it just infuriates me. But if I’m seriously considering something that I’m scared to spend the money on, these questions make a huge difference.

How much is the problem costing you? How much would the solution help you? Is that amount of money worth not having this problem any more?

When I’m not in eyeroll mode, this kind of questioning helps a lot. It gives me time to think it through rather than dwell on the reality of a lighter wallet. And then I spend it easier.
Someday soon, I’ll have to start asking my own potential clients about their budget, and of all the things that terrify me about going out on my own, this is probably one of the biggest ones. I have a lifetime’s worth of useless junk in my brain around the concept of money.

I think this episode only cracks the surface of all the intricacies of discussing money and budget, but it’s a great start! And I look forward to hearing them dive even deeper into it in the future.

Let me know what you think, and if you have any questions, please reach out to one of us. You can get in touch with us from our contact page. We’re all in this together!

Until next time!

Copyright ©2023. Throw Down. All Rights Reserve